VIP Message for Ally: I feel very indecisive about my work situation right now. There are many things about my current work place that I love. I absolutely enjoy most of my coworkers. The problem is my boss. He demands that I pick up extra hours and work off shift. I’ve resisted, but do help at times when I can because of staffing issues. It has been very stressful. There are things my boss has said and done that I feel is toxic. I do not want to be around him. I feel like I want to move on and find a different job, but there are many conveniences to where I work: Flexibility, if needed, the location to my home, and I like my coworkers. I want to be sensible and support my family. I am scared to jump into a new job that I might hate. In addition, I haven’t figured out what to do about continuing my education. I am currently in school to get my bachelors degree, but haven’t decided if I want or should go on to get my masters. I am not sure if changing jobs is the wisest thing right now. I am looking for some guidance; Should go ahead with a job change? Thank you, Ally
Medium Laura Lee: ‘I feel like I want to move on…’ ~ says it all Ally. Trust your instincts; Jump. Proceed with your search to find something equal to, or better, in terms of all the positive benefits (like coworkers, flexibility and location, etc) your current job offers, plus more. Being at the edge of uncertainty is scary, but good too. It means you’re ready to grow.
With that said, however, there’s something to be learned from the situation too. And if you don’t deal with it, you may be confronted with similar scenario. I see this all the time with relationships. We repeat a pattern until it inspires a shift inside to change your outside experience. We change when we’ve had enough. And relocating doesn’t always solve all our problems.
‘Things have been very stressful. There are certain things my boss has said and done that I feel is toxic.’ Have you confronted the boss? I sense not. Sometimes its easier to abandon ship instead of speaking up. I know this is not your first relationship, boss or otherwise, where you felt the pressure from a toxic personality in your vicinity (at times, mentally abusive). Allowing this person to make you feel inferior is giving up your power. It is important to speak your truth in critical moments. You job is not in jeopardy. This place needs all the help that they can get given they have staffing issues.
Take back your power from toxic people. First, remember it’s their stuff ~ not yours. Don’t get sucked into their drama ~ and take on their fear. I know that’s easier said than done. One thing that works for me when faced with difficult people is to bless them. I know it sounds contrary, but it works! Everyone is carrying heavy burdens.
Try this exercise: Close your eyes. Visualize the person in your minds eye standing before you (if you can’t see, pretend as if they are standing before you). See a white light shine (like the sun) upon both of you. Take a deep breathe of light into your heart and exhale love, like a laser of light, from your heart to their heart. Really feel love in the heart (this gets easier in time :-). Do this three times all the while saying ‘Bless (persons name) with peace love and joy.’
You can employ this exercise (silently) anytime they stand before you spewing their garbage. And do this exercise when you feel angst in your heart about this boss. Do this exercise every night before going to bed too. You’ll recognize a shift between yourself and your boss when put this to practice. Even after you notice change, keep on keeping on.
When you come from love, toxicity can’t take a hold of you. You aren’t exchanging fear energy with the other party. Instead you’re confronting fear with love. Love melts fear away. And what you put out, you receive back. It is a law in the universe.
My client, Susan, who owned a business. She had a toxic office where one employee reeked of havoc. Susan used this exercise on a toxic employee (which she could not fire due to state laws). The employee positively shifted in her demeanor towards herself and the office staff. Susan said it was a miracle to witness the environment shift. Eventually, the employee left the job ~ and amicably. IF the other party can’t handle the LOVE ~ they are blown out. Everything worked in favor for the highest good of all involved. And better than Susan could ever imagine.
What you seek is right before your very eyes. I know you’ve worked the family business previously (to confirm this message), but I believe your talents would be well served in this area again. You have strengths where others are weak. Combined, there’s a dynamo team. This direction gives you the freedom to be accessible to your family as well as your education. This path also serves as a foundation for your kids to develop and grow too.
Hope this helps ~ Keep me posted! Bless, LL