Mercury Retrograde survival tips

Mercury Retrograde survival tips

Mercury Retrograde survival tips to avoid going loco: 

Planet Mercury likes to drag us on one hell of a trip, orbiting backwards, a few times every year. This is, of course, an illusion in our night sky. But there’s no mistaking how this time period can mock our lives. I ask others not to inform me when Mercury enters retrograde with hope that a positive mindset will help me rise above the fray. Nonetheless, it’s moments like these in which heaven hysterically laughs in your face. 

“Think you’ve got control? Try this one on for size!”

For those unfamiliar with the term Mercury Retrograde, your life has no less been touched by its comical satire. Mercury is the planet that rules over communications. There is no way getting around it, communicating is a key part of daily life via phones, computers, travel and good ole face-to-face interactions ~ remember those days? During this celestial intervention, however, our interactions with one another can cause mind bending, frustrations and delays. Fortunately, these events aren’t entirely all bad. They can bring about phenomenal coincidences and sharpen your super power, psychic, senses. Mercury Retrograde loco can last up to three weeks or more. Personally, I account for the week leading up to this period and the week after, in order to cushion for unexpected detours in plans. 

Case in point, five days before schedule, we were heading out the door for my daughter’s concert when an unexpected arctic blast descended upon us. My spidey senses pushed us to leave early to avoid what was imminent, but my nagging to that effect fell upon deaf ears. We skated out of our drive with minutes to spare, tail spinning into a car accident. Mercury Retrograde loco kicked us in the rear to say, “I’m back!” Luckily, no one was hurt, yet we’re still massaging the kinks in our necks. Buckle up your seatbelts for a wild ride by following these Mercury Retrograde survival tips to avoid going loco. 

Allow extra time for travel. If you’re the type of person who puts the pedal to the metal, racing to the finish line, don’t tell me that I didn’t tell you so. Pad timing from point A to point Z to spare yourself the ibuprofen. In other words, don’t do as I do, but do as I say! 

On any given day, I know better to give ample time when traveling in the dark or in icy, snow conditions. Even when your intuition sends warning signals, that doesn’t necessarily mean everyone is on the same plane of existence. This is especially true when you’re speaking in tongues from planet Mercury to convey the importance for leaving early in a storm. In our recent experience, I was preparing to take our turn at a four way stop, a mile from our destination, when a honking, monster truck rammed the backend of my car. My daughter and I suffered severe whiplash and her nose bled upon impact. The driver of a GMC couldn’t have been more cooperative and remorseful. We stood shaking to exchange information by phones, realizing it would be best to text snapped photos of our car insurance, license, and plates. 

“Not so fast!” Mercury retrograde bellows in it’s menacing tone. My iPhone and her Android wouldn’t connect signals while we were standing no more than a foot apart. Coincidently, we learned that our kids were heading to the same performance. My sixth sense didn’t flinch whether or not she’d show up for the show. In fact, she beat me to our destination every bit apologetic for our collision. I reminded her, kneading my temples, that it was an accident due to ice. 

Avoid signing any binding contractual agreement. I know all too well that it is best to avoid signing any type of agreements, especially when spanked by Mercury Retrograde. But, after this incident, it’s worth mentioning that this can include any taped verbal testament that can be held up in a court of law. Even if that holiday, cable package is a steal, back off! Wait out Mercury Retrograde’s practical jokes to sign on the dotted line. Instead, review details with a fine tooth comb, consider other options or a second opinion, before agreeing to terms. In the long run, you’ll be happy you did. 

Before our children’s performance was over, I received the other drivers text with an insurance claim number saying they’d call the next day. Her message ended with a dozen more apologies and emojis emitting this sentiment. She was of rare form, planet Mercury’s messenger. “See, I’m not all that bad!” Her insurance company, in typical fashion, did not call. I waited until end of day before contacting them. Their lines screeched an annoying  static with background voices that sounded like poltergeist had entered the network’s lines. I hung up and tried a few more times, thinking it was on my end. Now I’m starting to believe the interference was a deliberate attempt on behalf of the insurance company to dissuade claims. I started pushing random numbers until I reached a live agent, who then sent me to another person, who passed me over to another representative before I was disconnected. Grrrrr…Not one to give up the fight, I called back to work the process over. I eventually spoke with five different people, a total wait time surpassing an hour, before finding someone who asked me a series of questions. All the while, I scanned the internet reviews which indicated this was the worst car insurance company in the world. I pray this is not a premonition of things to come when my report came to close and the representative casually mentioned that our call was recorded for purposes of our agreement. Wait, weren’t they supposed to do that at the beginning of our call? 

Prepare yourself for miscommunications. This can’t be more true when making plans with other parties. If they go low, and you go high, but no one understands the meaning of collaboration, it is likely that you won’t unbind the mess until everyone is willing to give or take to find a peaceful solution. 

The insurance company asked for a police report number. Uh, police report? Oh, yeah, while the wind was whipping us, standing in the middle of an intersection with kids in tow, it escaped my attention to call the police. Conveniently, GMC lady had also failed to bring them up too. I remember, however, she was worried about tarnishing her good driving record of many years. I contacted the local PD to report the incident and the officer said nothing can be filed without the involvement of the other party. But, of course! Naturally, Ms. GMC and I went back and forth to find a date and time in our busy schedules to meet up. After she rescheduled a couple of times, I started to lose faith in the person that I met at the intersection that night. I knew she feared a bad outcome, but as expected, we both walked away without a ticket or warning. 

I anxiously pushed to get this ordeal behind us and have my car repaired. I could hear Mercury Retrograde snicker when the insurance company said the police report wasn’t necessary and that they had mailed the check for damages zip-pity doo dah, fast. Based on what? The customer service member said that the few photos we snapped on our phones gave adjusters enough information. Okay, whatever. He goes on to explain that I can get the car repaired from their body shop, located over an hour away, and I’ll receive a car rental coupon for $21.99 a day. Worst insurance company in the world.

When you least expect it, you’re going to experience computer or phone malfunction (back-up helps), delays in your travels or plans, and miscommunications where everyone else is crazy and confused. It’s not that these type of occurrences don’t potentially happen on any other day, it’s just that Mercury Retrograde loco likes to add its signature touch and punctuate it with an exclamation mark to make its point clear. 

“Sucker, who do you think you are…God!”

Tune into Spirit with Radio Medium Laura Lee for insight, guidance or answers. 

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